I guess I can go a few ways with this. There are very few things I am truly afraid of in this world, and I guess I am facing most of them every day or at least have in the past few months. Those are all non-physical entities. They are ideas, feelings, situations in the future that I fear. To me, those are more important than the physical fears you might have. Unless of course it is truly a phobia and they immobilize you.
My biggest physical fear? Heights. I hate them. I hate how fire escape stairs are generally just grated and you can see through them. I hate standing on the edge of cliffs. I am terrified on chair lifts at ski resorts – and I’ve never been on one that is incredibly tall. Once, I remember when I was maybe 12 or 13, we had another small family reunion at Idewild park outside of Pittsburgh, PA. We all climbed up the giant rope ladder thing to the top of the tower. When I got to the top, I was hyperventilating and had to sit in the corner. I was shaking so hard I couldn’t stand. I’ve gotten better with heights. Standing on the Cliffs of Moher with no guard rail or cliff jumping in Croatia probably helped me get over it. But when it came to bungy jumping? No thanks. I shouldn’t be saying this because if I ever get on The Amazing Race and they find out that my biggest fear is heights? Well guess who is jumping out of a plane. This girl.
What am I really afraid of?
I’m afraid that I’ll never find someone to love who loves me. I sound like just about every other man and woman on this planet with that statement! But it’s true. I see all of my friends getting married or at least finding a significant other that they want to be in a committed relationship with. Do I even want that? No. I don’t want to get married right now. Far from it! Do I really want a committed relationship? When I think about it deep down, no, I really don’t. I don’t want to have to bring someone else into my hectic life right now. Dating? yeah that sounds great. An open, non commited relationship? I get over this feeling by telling myself that I’m young. I’m only 24! I have all the time in the world to be happy and do things that I want to do. I don’t need someone else to make me happy. I will find someone equally as happy and we can have loads of fun together and maybe get married and maybe not. I need to stop worrying about this.
I’m afraid that I’ll never find my passion. I’ll never find what I really truly want to do with my life. I have some ideas, I guess I just need to get the final push of motivation to overcome the small wall that stands behind me and my plans. I need to sit down for a day or so and do some planning and logistics. Once I get through all of that and realize that what I want to try is possible, I’ll do it. I’ve done it before. I’ve managed to leave my field of study after graduation and enter a more competitive field. Hell, I’ve managed to move across the country in slightly over 6 months.
I’m also terrified of robots.
I could go on and on. I am not terrified of Transformers though. They are awesome.
Watson? Not awesome.