Dear people that tell me “its not that hot”,
There are many of you. MANY of you. I love you all so dearly. Well not all of you. Some of you I guess. B$, you know you’re my sugar tits. No, I don’t love women.
Getting to the point.
I know that today, compared to some of the summer days that I endured in DC, is not that hot in comparison. Its a nice 76 degrees with 66% humidity (weather.com told me). I’m going to be completely and utterly honest with you; I’m a baby when it comes to hot weather. Yes. A baby. A wuss. Because I never said this blog was PG, I will say it now, I’m a pussy when it comes to weather/high temperatures.
Well what is hot, you ask?
To me? Anything above 65, ESPECIALLY when humidity is involved. Lets be real. The other day when it was 45, I walked outside in a long sleeve shirt and a light sweater. After about 5 steps, the sweater came off and I was sweating. I’ve been known to walk around in 40 degree weather in t-shirts. I suppose it’s unladylike. Girls are always cold. Not this girl. She is always roasting.
Significant others and snuggle buddies have told me that I’m a space heater. I sleep with windows open when its below 50. I LOVE SNOW. I will roll around in it. If it is above 20 degrees, I usually ski in a hoodie.
So people, I know that to you it may not be that hot outside at 76, but to me, its like I’m back in the Sahara desert. The humidity does not help at all. I’m happy in my 40’s-60’s. With 0%-30% humidity.
I’m a baby when it gets hotter than that. I get grump and sweat a lot. I get sick easily when doing physical activity in temperature over 80.
Those temperatures are reserved for a beach vacation when I can jump in a cold ocean…or for a Mediterranean vacation when I can walk around and just jump into the sea when I feel like it. Not for every day walking to and from work and every day chillaxin.
Unless you bring me a kiddie pool.
OK. I’m done.